The Stares We Face !

If you are a parent to a neurodiverse child, you’ve probably experienced this: the stares. Some are fleeting, others linger. Some are filled with curiosity, some with judgment, and others with quiet admiration. But on most days, those stares just make us feel... different.

For parents of neurotypical children, these moments might be insignificant. But for us, they are a constant reminder of the gap in understanding. So, what are people thinking when they see a child who behaves differently? And more importantly, how can we change the way people respond?

What’s Behind the Stares?

Not every stare comes from a bad place. People look for different reasons:

  • Empathy and Admiration – Some recognize the challenges of raising a neurodiverse child and think, "I don't know how they do it."

  • Curiosity and Confusion – Others might wonder, "Should I ask about their child’s needs, or would that be intrusive?"

  • Judgment or Misunderstanding – Sadly, some assume behavioral differences are due to poor parenting and think, "If that were my kid, I’d handle it differently."

  • Fear or Distance – Some worry their child might not know how to interact and instinctively pull away.

  • Genuine Inclusion and Support – There are also parents who actively want to create an inclusive environment but don’t know how.

What Can We Do?

As parents of neurodiverse children, the question is: do we simply endure the stares, or do we do something about them? Here are a few ways to encourage awareness and foster inclusivity:

1. Normalize the Conversation

Schools and parenting groups can play a role by organizing discussions on neurodiversity. Many parents don’t even realize their behavior—whether it’s staring or avoiding eye contact—can make others feel isolated. Hosting sessions where neurodiverse parents share their experiences could foster empathy and understanding.

2. Create Accessible Awareness Materials

Handing out pamphlets in everyday situations might feel forced, but well-placed flyers in schools, libraries, pediatric clinics, and play areas could help educate more people. A simple message like “Different, Not Less” can go a long way in shaping perceptions.

3. Address Stares with Confidence

Sometimes, addressing the moment directly can break the discomfort. A calm response like:

  • “Hi, I see you looking. If you have questions, feel free to ask.”

  • “It’s okay, my child is just wired differently.”

  • “We’d appreciate it if you didn’t stare.”

A gentle nudge toward awareness can turn an awkward moment into an opportunity for learning.

The Bigger Picture

Staring is just a symptom of a larger issue—lack of awareness. But every conversation we start, every story we share, and every moment we choose to educate instead of withdrawing, we help build a more inclusive world for our children.

So, the next time you catch someone staring, what will you do? Will you stay silent, or will you turn it into a chance to change a perspective?

Let’s talk. Let’s educate. Let’s create a world where no parent has to feel isolated because of a stare.

#Neurodiversity #AutismAwareness #InclusiveParenting #DifferentNotLess #WorldAutismDay #AutismDay #AutismMonth #WearBlue #AutismAwarenessDay2025 #WorldAutismAwarenessDay

Comments

Gayatri Vathsan said…
I look at the starers and give them a big smile!

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